color

 

Wonderful thing

 If you have not lived it

 you cannot understand it

 and that is a wonderful thing

 as much as you want to understand

 and support and console 

I would not wish this pain

 on any human being 

ever. 

That you cannot understand

the depth

the width

the height 

of this pain

That is a wonderful wonderful thing

pain

 with every part of me

I hope

you are

clueless

to the pain

the ice cold boiling

pain

that is

waiting

and that you

are oblivious to what

your

silence

feels 

like

Just hiding

 I can not live 

in the land of maybe

in the land of what if

in the land of if only

I must find my way through

the land of maybe

the land of what if

the land of if only

if I want to live 

9/11

 

 

You do not 

ever

have to forgive me

because

I am never 

forgiving

myself 

Deeply

 

Ours

 is

                    a

                    Deeply

                    troubled

                    Household

                    where

                    Depression

                    and 

                    Inertia

                    meet

                    and

                    Mutate

                    into

                    Nothing