daily cry

 I get you're busy

I get you're probably confused

                                        angry

                                        scared

                                        doubtful

                                        insecure

                                        scared

                                        overwhelmed

                                        sad

It is about you and it is not about me. 

it hurts

    

 

Voice

 Still afraid of the sound of my own voice 

Stuff

 Sometimes

I am sad

I think of all the things I didn't do

all the missed opportunities but

most of the time

I am glad

and amazed by my life 

and that I am alive

and where I am 

sitting on the sofa holding up an old cat

is where I am supposed to be 

**********************

I used to like the wind

and storms

but 

that was before

now

I know what pain is

I know what loss is

*******************

trying 

to be in the moment

trying

not to think of the moments I have not be in 

Dear Brighid. Dear Josh.

 I do want you to know something

I have thought about you

worried about you

and hoped for you

from the first day of your existence. 

Every day 

that I am alive

you will be thought of

and worried about

and hoped for

and after that ..... 

if there is an after that

you will be thought of

and worried about

and hoped for

I have always loved you

I will always love you

NOTHING changes that

if I hear from you. If I do not hear from you

If our politics differ.

if you have an addiction of any kind

If you win the gold medal

If you can't get out of bed 

If you are living in a mansion or living on the streets

Nothing changes that I have always loved you, I will always love you.

This parent's love is unconditional.

 

Good at it

 I tried 

to 

be

invisible

and found

I 

am

You

I love You

Please

Thank you

I am listening

            take out the trash

            put away the dishes

            bring in the mail

            do the laundry

I love You

Please 

Thank You

I am listening

            go for a walk

            smile

            scrape the ice

            put gas in the car

I love you

Please

Thank you

I am listening

Listen

All

 all the sadness

all the worry

all the grief

not knowing

all the pain

all the fear

all the tears

not knowing

        the shattered pieces

        the broken soul

        the loss of life

        the gaping hole

all the love